tentative

its good to say well see you today

another chance to make it right another reason to fix a right

down in the tide the water erodes

soil and dirt and mismatched nodes

erosion gently changes the surface

over time it changes the inside too

when you scream for forgiveness of a crime

committed by those closest to you

lacking conviction is easy when you lack faith

basic modern human with its tired mind

heavy soul and unwashed hands

a salute to you

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at pride 🏳️‍🌈

at pride its fun to be swaying with the breeze

the smell of grass and cooking food

music bleeds from the souls of performers

entrancing bass reverberates through the valley

a boy wears a rainbow of yarn and flows with the music

glitter creeps into every crevice of grass

stray boa feathers strut the well worn footpaths

declarations of love greet you at every vendor

even unpleasant people couldnt ruin the mood

i feel myself bloom

coming out to play before the night ends

and a door opens

fearless or numb

its the morning and i wrote this here you go also coffee is good and its a windy day also i was looking for pretty stock photos and i randomly found this jolly man eating a lollipop, but it was like a series, a bloody beautiful one that needed to be in my life and i think you deserve to see it too

conquiring consuming depraving and gruelling

red clouds my sight and covers my ears

everything i try to unlearn talks in silent night

a sweet voice that lulls me to sleep behind the dumpster

where the rats come to chew on my rotten intention

a defence mechanism which knows no bounds

silences inside a throat so down-filled with hate and poison and spit

even hearing that wicked voice taunts me in my dreams

footsteps incite panic and confusion

what did i do this time?

a question asked by the weary, when hurt seems to be

inevitable-intangibly real

never rest for that special time may come when fangs come out

and venom spills into your soul

a hurt deep within

a crack in the core

another painful morning

im not a specimen in a jar

key?

So there I waste away in time

a lock on the thoughts of truth

who am i to scoff at the system

that was put in place by someone

who knows me

more than me

self sabotage

sometimes i dont allow myself to be succeseful

but theres always that ache in my stomach that tells me to keep going

no matter what i drown out it wont go away

but to be honest i dont want it to

the ache is the meaning of life?

destiny or something better

promises that were kept and

some that were not

ruefully i stray out into the unknown

ruefully -but mostly grateful and graceful

not

destruction brings with it creation

a chance to breath fire

finally growing pains return

a lesson is being learned

okay

love notes on my skin

I like to write love notes on my skin

with a pen or permanent ink

to remind me that I’m never alone

even if the road I walk is on my own

“We love you” whispered the trees

“Bear the burden of love” drooping flowers sigh

A sparkle lights up in my vision

a celebrated reminder of spirits presence

without a problem there’d be no answer

this connection is a blessing

the hesitancy is a curse

bring me to the light again

this is random but yes that is a picture of Rhett from Good Mythical Morning. He is my mascot for this post! I edited a picture for this post, but I didnt like it so I’m using butt Rhett instead!

Gemini Season 🌠

Stars started to fall from the sky that night, blue green tails leaving chem-trails in the sky, reminders of loose strings and broken fragments of divinity. Flower petals patiently wait for winter, while sea green lichen grows over the past, suffocating negative energy that tried to dominate the garden of ego. Hummingbirds watch on, always buzzing with the winds of change, eager to assist in my elevation. Sunflowers double back, trying to muster every last bit of strength left to become the light. A robin is perched dutifully on a fence pole, waiting for the perfect opportunity to seize that fat worm wriggling under the dirt, a death dance worthy of an award. I twist and seize under the old skin thats grown over me, like a shield that does more damage than good. My fingers drag over the shell, that ever present shell of the past, and I feel that the time has come. Magpies fly overhead, sensing that something is about to happen. They wanted to be here for my re-birth. To cheer me on with their unique voice and wisdom. A blue feather flutters to the ground, and where it drops a flower blooms. My heart begins to pound, and a lump forms in my throat. Slowly, but surely, the skin cracks and deforms, like old plastic left out in the sun. I can finally feel the breeze again, smell the colors of a life lived blind. My hands reach out. The skin falls away, piece by piece, turning to dust as it does. It feels good to feel good. I look around with wonder. I’ve never experienced love like this before. Warmth fills up my body, a serene feel of peace, and the truth dawns on me. I’ve always been free.

bloods on fire

Every day I sit in front of this machine waiting for the answer

A light blinks on, off, on, off, on, off

Rhythmic pulses of time pass by

tick, tock, tick, tock

A CPU runs off of electricity

wires like sinew, jagged metal resembling rows of teeth

bite down on the bullet or someone else will

embrace it

tryin so hard to embrace the truth

one foot out the door set me loose

a hand behind my back fingers crossed

weapons come out to support a cause

my eyes are open atleast for today

to see for yourself is to see my dismay

to all that is hidden in the crawlspace

where the bugs and the rats sit home and play

unaware of the torment of that ticking tock

a clock that wont stop to enjoy small talk

so step out the door and go away

we wait for your footsteps

and fingerprints on display