Hey there! Thanks for stopping by to read this post. A special post at that! It just so happens to be my very first blog post on this wonderful site. So get yourself a cookie and celebrate with me, while you read through the terrifying subject of today’s post; Not turning back from your lifes destiny, aka fate! I know, I almost crapped in my pants while writing this…This post seems particularly tasty to me, because I’ve struggled with my identity for a long time. After high school ended I found myself lost and more than a little confused. I’ve been waiting for something to happen, but then I realized that the change starts from within! Just remember that 2019 is our year. Its time for me to come out of hiding, and its time for you to stop hiding too! Lets shine our light together. Lets change the world together! One goofy blogpost at a time! Its hard to put into words how I want this post to sound, to describe and have it make sense to someone who isn’t me, but I’ll try my best.
I’d like to start with the concept of ‘you’ and what that means. Who you are, what you love and how you identify. This can include sexuality, gender identity, and what you stand for as a person. I always falter when someone asks me “Who are you? Really?” Its such a complex question, and it can be really difficult to answer, especially if you’ve had to hide yourself due to un-supportive people. How does one find oneself, anyway? Ahh, yes, the best philosophical question. I suppose you’re expecting an answer. I have no idea…I don’t know how to answer that…because only you can! Woah, wait! Don’t leave yet! I have some tips that may help you figure it out! I can’t solve your problem directly but I can help you along your journey. Especially since I’ve really been trying to figure this out myself! These are a just a few tidbits that helped me along. I’ll also list a few good books at the bottom of this post that inspired me as well, if you’re interested in those.
Lets start with the basics first. When you think of yourself, what comes to mind? Is it loving and accepting, or is it basically a picture of a trash can, or a stinky sock? My self image for the longest time was one big dirty trashcan- people throw all their trash in there and never think twice about where it goes or what happens. Well I say, WHAT ABOUT THE TRASH CAN?! Ok, that metaphor was a stretch, but honestly. Do you let others use you like a receptacle? They dump their negativity onto you, they use you. You feel dirty and worn out, not appreciated for who you are, yet they feel relieved and safe, dumping their problems onto you. People think they can take and take, but never give back, never ask how you are. That is a big indicator that you like to help others, which is a great thing! It also means that people are gonna try to take advantage of that, which is not a great thing. You need to realize your own worth before you can move forward with anything, or the cycle will just continue. There’s a lot of people out there who would love to suck you dry like a vampire! You just need to realize that those people are not your people. You deserve to have people supporting you and loving you, regardless of who you are. It’s easy to think we deserve to be sucked dry, easy to assume we need to give everything to others in order to be worthy of happiness, but that’s not true! Progress really starts when we accept that we are deserving of the same love and care that we give to others.
If you have loving folks in your life, but you still have a bad self image, that’s okay too! Self love is hard, and self care is hard too. I know you probably don’t want to hear this -I sure didn’t- but self care really goes hand-in-hand with self love and feeling comfortable in your own skin. It helps you dispel that negative voice in your head and makes you feel like the QUEEN you are, honey. That nagging voice that tells you that you suck, though? She needs to go. Its natural to have a bit of self doubt every now and then, but if that’s all you hear, lets work on it. For the longest time, especially during and after high school, all I could hear was that voice, telling me I was a failure, an idiot, a turd sandwich with extra turds. Then I realized something. Is that internal voice even mine? Or is that the voice of those who doubted me, controlled me, and made me feel less than? Is there someone in your life who’s negative voice you’ve adopted? Perhaps a parent who never thought you were good enough, or a school bully who was insecure of themselves and took it out on you? Be sure to remind yourself that these voices have no basis in reality. Even those who gave you their pain were doing so based on their reality, not yours. I like to do a trade-off almost, when that voice decides to tell me negative things. For example, that negative voice may say that I really smell like butt. Well, for one thing, some people like how butt smells, so it can’t be that bad. And part two, gurl, is learning how to be nice to yourself. You may say I smell like butt, but I say I smell like ✨ROSES and GOLD✨. (Does gold have a smell?) See? A little trade off! For every negative thought, give yourself a positive thought too! The next time that negative voice says something bad, or tries to bring you down, you just turn around and tell her that you are an amazing human being on the road to success and that no amount of butt smell will ever stop you.
Get funny with it too! Let yourself enjoy the absurdities of life! Its easy to get so caught up in everything that the color gets sucked out of your life, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can be successful and still have fun. I guess I figure you might as well have a little goofiness instead of feeling miserable about your situation (which is hard, but it does help!) I suppose its like taking things with a ‘grain of salt’, or making sure even bad stuff doesnt get to you. What if I just laughed at what life was leading me to, and go with it instead? What if I was to be proud of my achievements, be chill with the situation I’m in, and start laughing at how strange and amazing everything is instead? We know next to nothing about, well….a lot of things. But that’s what makes it so fun, and ridiculous. The next time someone says you can’t do something, or you aren’t this, or that, just remind them that we don’t even know whats in our own oceans. Let yourself feel good, because you are a completely unique being. I guess what I’m trying to say is, we are MIRACLES. Life is an amazing beautiful opportunity and anything is possible. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You can be anything. As long as you are being true to yourself, you can change the world. How can we make rules about who to be and how to live, when the world is such a complex living, breathing thing? When the world tries to tell you who you can be, you tell the world that you know the truth, and the truth is, you can be anything.
Remember that loving yourself is a process, and self care is a definite journey. I’ve been at this for awhile now and I cant help but slip up occasionally. Self care is especially hard if you deal with mental or physical illness, so be patient with yourself, and love yourself along the way, regardless of your progress. I love you and I hope this helped! There will be a part two to this post coming soon, so be on the lookout for that as well! Thanks for reading! 🍀
📚Helpful books -to be updated-🦉
I Could Do Anything, If I Only Knew What It Was -Barbara Sher