he breathes in and out through my lungs

toying with a deck of cards

thoughts of sentiment and worry

create noise inside

as he sits at a round table

shaking his head in dismay

the queen of hearts is missing from his deck

he sighs and shuffles the deck anyway, knowing he cant do much

but breathe in and out through my lungs

he knows that I hid…

that I hid the queen of hearts from him

panic stricken of my belonging

belonging to something a bit more complex

than pain

or just another silly game

if I hide my heart then you cant love me

and if you cant love me

i cant get…

hurt

again

my brother is my best friend

hes everything i need.

why would i subject him to

pain and greed

blood that pours out of veins that are used to the abuse

of relationships based in lies and pain

the kind of pain you never knew you had in you

razors drip red at the seams

cutting myself for cheap thrills

a moment of clarity brought by the blade

brought by blood…

and blood is the best sacrifice

blood is the best sacrifice when it comes to love

isnt it?

bleeding for my beloved, oh how romantic, how toxic of you

to pursue romance as a game

love as a futile thing, a joke

a reign of terror

to see the suffering of your fellow man

and continue down the path of madness

like a monster in a movie, a villain you hate

an angel attached to a devil

a devil who hides her heart from an angel

breathing in and out through my lungs