haunted by happiness

First off, I just wanted to start and say THANK YOU! To all my readers and friends who have decided to support my journey here on wordpress. I finally got a couple views to my blog and I can’t help but explode with excitement. Seriously. I am so freakin excited to see that folks are enjoying my content! Thank you so much, I love you all! I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me! 🌈 💙

It’s almost 1 in the morning where I’m located, and today -err, yesterday I mean, my sleep schedule was way off whack. So I basically slept all day and woke up at midnight. Cool! It reminds me of when I was a vampire there for awhile. Who doesnt love a sexy slinkin’ vampire? Anywho, it inspired me, and then I was like…hey….what if I made a category called ‘midnight munchies’ for all of my midnight vampy hi-jinks? So here I am! I figured some weird story/poetry thing was fitting! And we begin!

Heres a little content warning before you read though, below has mention of self harm!

Freeing to be a thing of skin and bones with teeth and tongue and skin and hair, red blood pumps through a body system as ancient as the stars with wisdom hidden inside the code for life, code for death, code for shedding the skin and becoming something more than me. Has that scar always been there? It always reminds me of a time when I was someone else, trying to find the answers through self mutilation and cell destruction, abusive to the body that holds my spirit and anchors consciousness to a single source of being. How confusing to those above, watching on as family dissects itself with a grimey razor blade, held between shaky fingers covered in blood. Red is the freedom and the focus to feel between worlds, ignorant gives in to a solution that could never work, will never work again. Scars speaking a story that a broken voice refused to sing out, trembling in fear, within the confines of a human body. That version of me is gone, and now the scars are a history book, something to look back to when I remember a time I wanted nothing more than to exist in love and light, but blocked it with my own self hate. I love myself. These scars are a testament to my past, a singing statement of loving life so much that I survived the darkness within my soul, the devil version of myself that convinced me I was evil. I survived. I continue to survive. I celebrate these scars. I survived.

Love yall. If you struggle with self harm things get better. I havent cut in a long time. You rock. Nothings worth hurting your beautiful unique self. Have a fun song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPEEz8pEFn0

Photo found at unsplash.com https://unsplash.com/photos/mnT6pwj4FA0

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